Why I Talk to Toothbrushes

This afternoon, I impulsively looked up my middle name on Urban Dictionary.

One of the "definitions" said: "A sexy guy that...has a nice toothbrush."

Let's just focus on the latter part for now; I don't want to gloat. :D

Of course it was funny! The randomness of it caught me off guard and I couldn't stop laughing. But I began to think about it more seriously. I decided that my toothbrush really is very nice. This is why.

Tooth brushing is such an important part of daily life. If we don't brush, many problems will arise: we will get tooth decay, repulsive breath, our teeth will lose their whiteness, and many others. A lot of these cost quite a bit to fix. As long as you brush at least twice a day, you'll be able to avoid these things in a very cost-effective way with only a couple minutes of effort.

What if we didn't brush our teeth? They would look disgusting, they would be painful, they would probably eventually fall out, our breath would be horrendous, our sense of taste would be dulled, it could potentially lead to some serious illness...the list goes on. The vast majority of people couldn't afford to constantly visit a dentist for tune-ups and such. Life just wouldn't be very fun.

If toothbrushes are so important, then why are they completely taken for granted? And that is why I extend my gratitude towards toothbrushes. Next time I brush my teeth, I'm going to take a second, look it in the bristles, and say: "Toothbrush, I thank you. I truly do. You do so much for me, and I give so little in return. Yet you are content with that. Well, you are an inanimate object, so there's no way you could complain or even have the desire to complain...Jeez! You're messing up my emotional speech! But anyway. Thank you."

....or something like that.

So next time you go to brush, just take a moment and think about how important they are to you, and how grateful you are that they exist.




Random Factoid O' the Day: Look at the quote I included from Urban Dictionary. See the "dot dot dot" thing? It's called an ellipsis. They're used when you want to omit some words from a quote.